Providing Support Postpartum: Do's and Don'ts

Postpartum can be a challenging time for new parents, and practical support from friends and family is invaluable. Here's a specific guide on how to help, including do's and don'ts:

Postpartum can be a challenging time for new parents, and practical support from friends and family is invaluable. Here's a specific guide on how to help, including do's and don'ts:

Do's: Practical and Specific Help

• Meals:

  • Do: Bring a pre-made, easy-to-reheat meal. Think chopped ready to eat fresh fruit and vegetables, pasta salads, lasagna, casseroles and soups. Healthy snacks, suck ascheese cubes, granola bars and or my mom's favorite, these yummy 6 Week Refrigerator Muffins.

  • Do: Include disposable containers so they don't have to worry about returning dishes.

  • Do: Ask about dietary restrictions or preferences beforehand (e.g., "Are you avoiding anything while breastfeeding?" or "Any allergies?").

  • Do: Offer to set up a meal train with other friends/family, so they have a consistent supply of food for a few weeks.

• Household Chores:

  • Do: Offer to do a load of laundry from start to finish (wash, dry, fold, put away). This is a huge help!

  • Do: Offer to run the dishwasher or wash a sink full of dishes.

  • Do: Offer to quickly tidy up common areas, like wiping down counters or sweeping the kitchen floor.

  • Do: If they have pets, offer to walk the dog or scoop the litter box.

• Sibling Support:

  • Do: Offer to take older siblings to a park, for a walk, or to your house for a few hours. This gives the parents dedicated time with the new baby or a chance to rest.

  • Do: Bring a small gift for the siblings, bubbles, books, coloring books/crayons.

  • Do: Engage with older siblings by playing games, reading books, or doing crafts.

  • Do: If you're visiting, offer to keep older siblings occupied while the parents tend to the baby.

• Errands:

  • Do: Offer to pick up groceries or run other essential errands (e.g., pharmacy pick-up). Ask for a list beforehand.

• Just Being Present (Thoughtfully):

  • Do: Offer a listening ear without judgment. Let them vent about challenges or celebrate small victories.

  • Do: Offer to make them a cup of tea or coffee.

  • Do: Respect their need for rest. Keep visits short, especially in the early days.

Don'ts: Things to Avoid

• Don't: Show up unannounced. Always call or text first to make sure it's a good time.

• Don't: Ask "What can I do to help?" or "Let me know if you need anything." This puts the burden on the new parents to delegate.

• Don't: Expect to be entertained. Your role is to help, not to be a guest.

• Don't: Bring sick children or visit if you are feeling unwell yourself. New babies have developing immune systems.

• Don't: Give advice about parenting, breastfeeding, or baby care unless specifically asked.

• Don't: Criticize their parenting choices or make them feel inadequate.

• Don't: Overstay your welcome. Read their cues – if they seem tired, offer to leave.

• Don't: Come with empty hands and expect them to host you. Bring food, offer to help, or bring a small, thoughtful gift for the baby or parents.

By being specific, proactive, and mindful of their needs, you can provide truly meaningful support to your friends and family during the postpartum period.